i just want to put it out to the universe that on this day October 25th 2012
i am feeling very whole and very accomplished and complete
if i were to fall over and die merely moments from now I would rest in peace
i am certain of myself and though i face mistakes and guilt from day to day
i am clear that i am growing and learning healthy ways to move on from those
and grow and become better and better of a person
for that...i am forever grateful and thankful to the forces that surround me
for any incident that has ever happened that may have hurt to the soul
for any moment i felt alone and lost in a world gone out of control
for the pain and the tears and uncountable amount of losses
i am thankful
for my life in front of me today is not perfect
but i feel peace inside
i am open in mind heart and soul
i am willing to make the changes go the distances and take the plunges
my fear has faded into a memory
somewhere i used to live
and now i live here

thankfully

if i died today i would smile on my way out
i could pass on freely

then i think
nope
never got to fuckin meet godsmack
or play a show with them
or play a riff with them
or fuckin hang with them
or drink a beer with them
or do shit all

never toured the world with my band
never got a single professional recording done
never got a job with a mass music company

and those thoughts instantly corrupt my peace
install rage
install fury

i flare and i wail and i write a new track
i scream out some vocals
give the bass a slap

and ZERO results
the forces are constantly fuckin with me

i am never fuckin free

and for what???????

I dont wanna fuckin die today im far too angry