So..all the cleaning and cooking for myself became a almost 24/7 thing for me. My brother would go to work, go to a bar afterwards, get completely wasted and come home maybe 2 nights a week. Pretty soon I started to do the same, run away from home with friends to hang out with 18 year olds who knew where to get whatever they wanted. But then I stopped doing all of that. I did it before because it was my brothers way of dealing with my mothers death so I thought "I can do that too. I know who to go to for whatever." if I could organize my life chronically, that only happened for a year. When I was in 8th grade, I started hanging out with people from the high school across the street and they listened to Godsmack..when I heard it, I instantly fell in love haha and to be completely honest, their music has helped me get through a lot of shit in my life..I'm only 18 and this stuff should not have happened to a small-town, native girl but oh we'll. Still to this day I listen to them all day, every day. I'm yet to go to a concert if they ever come back to Oklahoma haha that would complete my life haha